Jun 162017
 

The Mishna says that when one sends gifts (unique gifts called shushbinot that are reciprocal and can even be demanded in court) to another for his wedding through one of his sons and then subsequently dies, when the gift is returned at that son’s wedding, it gets divided by all the sons (heirs) evenly.  A contradiction is brought from a braita and three explanations are given.  If the gift is given to the father of the groom and then upon return to the other family, the father is no longer alive, the sons have to share the expense of returning the gift (it isn’t all the responsibility of the groom who got married previously).  Various issues are raised through these discussions including cases where a woman is betrothed and never married – does she have to return the kiddushin money or not?  Is there a distinction made between the kiddushin money and other gifts that were given from the groom’s family to the bride?   What are the laws that govern the shushbinot gifts?  If one doesn’t attend the wedding, how much can one deduct from his gift?  The gemara ends with drashot about the difference between Torah scholars who learn mishna vs. those who learn Talmud.  And others about middot – which are those that will make a person happy and which of those will cause them to lead an unhappy life.  Some of these sources view having a happy life as a good thing whereas others don’t view it in a positive light.

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